I’d Like To Propose A Toast!

Apparently there’s a wrong way to eat toast.  Or at least there are ways to eat toast that aren’t preferred by the majority of your friends and relatives.

I found this on BuzzFeed this morning.  They surveyed people about toast.

Question one:  How do you like your toast cooked?  84 percent of respondents said they like their toast “moderately” toasted, which means not too light, but not too black.  Goldilocks would order toast this way.  Nine percent like it lightly toasted, meaning slightly firmer than regular bread.  And possibly hotter.  Seven percent like their toast black, probably because that way it doesn’t clash with your coffee.  As for me, I prefer my toast somewhere between moderate and black.  I don’t care for it lightly toasted.  Or microwaved, for that matter.

Question two:  What bread do you like to toast?  The overwhelming top answer was white.  Everything else apparently tied for second place.  I grew up eating whole wheat toast, which I like, but if I’m eating breakfast in a restaurant I usually order rye, sourdough or an English muffin.  Some places ask you to choose between toast and pancakes.  If that’s the case, I usually take the pancakes, but only because they’re larger.

Question three:  What do you put on toast, butter or margarine?  Butter was preferred by 83 percent, margarine by 17 percent.  And about 67 percent use a “modest” amount of either.  I’ll admit that I prefer to keep my clothes on in public, but I’m not modest when it comes to butter.  Slather it.  For some reason, the survey didn’t ask people about any other spreads.  But for the record, I’ll add practically any combination of jam, jelly, peanut butter and honey to toast.  In fact, if there are enough spreads available, I’ll just make a sandwich out of them.  That way I also get two slices of toast.

Question four:  What do you do if you burn your toast?  41 percent throw it away, 38 percent scrape off the black and eat it, and 21 percent (I’m in this group) just go ahead and eat it.  I know I’m not perfect at my job every day, so I don’t expect the chef to be perfect either.  Not even making toast.  Have I ever sent back a meal in a restaurant?  No.  There’s no time for that.

Question five:  Do you cut your toast?  45 don’t cut the slice of bread at all.  30 percent cut it diagonally and 16 percent cut it into rectangles.  When I make it myself, I don’t cut it.  But in a restaurant I’ll take it any way it shows up, which is most often diagonally.

To be completely truthful, my favorite way to eat toast is as part of a sandwich.  Especially with melted cheese.

And yes (I think this goes without saying), I have many times in my life lifted up a slice of bread at breakfast and told everyone, “I’d like to propose a toast”.

I’m pretty sure that’s one of the reasons I usually eat alone.

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